What Type Of Hipster Are You Really?

You ride your custom-modified fixie bike in a suit jacket and suspenders to your job at a locally sourced brewery. You don't try to be a hipster, you just have a taste for well-made craft beer, coffee made in a coffee press, 1890's clothing and hand-rolled cigarettes made from imported tobacco, and you like the sound of vinyl better than cassette tapes. You prefer a more European lifestyle.

Congrats, you are the Tumblr Hipster! You are the person basics are referring to when they say "hipster," so you can take solace in that, even though many more experienced hipsters do not consider you a hipster at all. You have at least one japanese text shirt with floral print, as well as undercut hair and circle glasses. You call real life events "dank memes" and you refer to your friend group as "sad boys/girls." You love drinking Arizona iced tea and listening to your Lana del Rey vinyl from Urban Outfitters while talking about how overrated Urban Outfitters is.

You are a kid at heart, which is why you have an Adventure Time tattoo and carry around a kazoo. However, despite the sense of youthful wonder you extend towards all your fellow humans, you take some things very seriously, such as your job at your local concert venue/ art gallery/ community garden and your vegan, anarchist lifestyle.. You love reading Slingshot Magazine while listening to Andrew Jackson Jihad and riding through the city in a group bike ride. You eat raw garlic to boost your immune system and don't use deodorant so that you won't get alzheimers from the aluminum.

You've moved past ironically doing things ironically and now do things with that people would usually do ironically, like saying the word "aesthetic," with zero irony whatsoever. You've also come to accept that you are a hipster and stopped trying to hide your superficial obsession with appearances. You have bleach-blond hair and are constantly trying to find that perfect pair of mom jeans to pair with your 90's t-shirts. You love talking loudly about periods while you thrift for Normcore clothes and take pictures for your Instagram in the grocery store.

Sorry to break the bad news, but are not a poser at all, my friend. You are just an easygoing, laid-back guy, just looking for the Zooey Deschanel to your Joseph Gordon-Levitt. You hate how everyone always talks about trivial, unimportant stuff all the time, and you can't stand "the Tumblr-culture" mentality and people who look for things to get offended about. You are blunt and unafraid to speak the truth and you hate small talk. You are majoring in psychology and love enlightening hot babes about Nietzsche on the porch at parties.

If you were a true music snob, you would know that Post-Rock was born and died with Talk Talk, and that Godspeed is derivative crescendo-core drivel. All your music is in FLAC format and you vehemently despise iTunes. In fact, unless you have more than 1 terabyte of music, you aren't qualified to talk about it. While you may appear normal at first glance, if someone asks you what your favorite band is, you have a ten-minute response that never once mentions a favorite band. If you have heard of Krautrock, this category probably pertains to you.

You identify more as a hippie than a hipster, but you don't mind the term. Labels aren't really your thing anyway. You live by the ten principles of Burning Man and by the teachings of Zen Buddhism. Your goal in life is to align your chakras, and the rest will follow. You have a tattoo of a symbol that the universe brought to you on a Chinese food menu. You love going to your local river and taking your shoes off and then getting blaaazed out of an Indian peace pipe. When people say you're appropriating cultures, you remind them that everything in life is temporary and we're all part of the human family.