Which Of The 7 Trappist-1 Planets Will Be Your Escape From This Garbage One?

Fairly large and closest to the sun, 1b is known for its lucrative sweat lodge industry. With regular activities like hot yoga and firewalking, this planet is perfect for team-building and business retreats.

Primarily a desert planet, 1c is mostly remote; with a few pockets of towns around its trading posts. It also has a booming trade in "Star Wars" re-enactment.

Lucky you! The smallest known planet in the system so far, Trappist-1d is often an exclusive hot spot for the rich and the elite. Enjoy its lush bio-domes with a tall glass of Prosecco!

Possibly the closest-resembling planet to Earth, 1e has accidentally become the "retirement home" of the system, for old people who are scared of change.

Similar to Earth, but with way more land mass, this big boy is popular with students and backpackers who want to walk across the entire planet before getting a job.

With its dense, lush, planet-wide forests, 1g is a magnet for explorers and anthropologists, desperate to unlock its secrets. Few of them ever return, though. Did they find paradise...?

Jeffrey lives here. Get out immediately.