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17 Signs You're Forever Alone and Totally Okay With it

Because ice cream is way better than a boyfriend.

Clare Turner
Created by Clare Turner
On Feb 9, 2016
1

Netflix is giving you some FIRE recommendations.

No man could ever truly understand how deep and profound your love for true crime documentaries. Netflix knows. Netflix doesn't judge.

2

You've stopped pretending that someone else is in the house to the pizza guy.

You used to act like you weren't going to eat all that pizza on your own. Now? You just don't care if the pizza guy knows you're getting up close and personal with a slice of New Yorker.

3

Your sleeping style is 'starfish'.

There is no way you would ever swap all that space in your bed for anyone, no matter how hot they are.

4

You no longer roll your eyes when your friends talk about their boyfriends.

Maybe you used to be bitter about other people's happiness. MAYBE you used to roll your eyes and make puking noises any time your best friend talked about her perfect boyfriend. But now you have transcended cynicism and reached a higher plane of zen.

5

You no longer bother putting your browser on incognito mode when you're looking at porn.

No shame. No. Shame.

6

Any time anyone asks you out, they have to compete with the prospect of you hanging out in your PJs alone.

They always lose. Always.

7

Your cat is your best friend.

Cliches exist for a reason, okay?!

8

Your mum has given up asking you about when you're going to settle down.

She knows what the answer will be, so there's literally zero point.

9

You are *killing it* at work.

Nobody to rush home for + a 10/10 work ethic = $$$.

10

'Serving suggestion: 2' means nothing anymore.

The clue is in the name: suggestion. IT IS JUST A SUGGESTION.

11

You're totally fine going places alone.

You used to be nervous about going to the cinema alone, but now you don't have to listen to their dumb fan theories after the show. And NOBODY STEALS YOUR POPCORN!

12

You spend 99% of your time naked.

Taking your bra off at the end of the day is better than any kind of emotional intimacy and you will not hear otherwise.

13

You've honed a set of perfectly withering put downs for guys who hit on you.

No, that ISN'T a stairway to Heaven, it's a ladder into the FIERY PITS OF HELL

14

Your friends are the most important people in your life.

They've mopped your tears, made you laugh, held your hair back while you're sick...what more could you even want?!

15

You haven't shaved your legs in about six months.

Because who really cares?

16

You no longer believe in 'The One'

Unless 'The One' is 'One serving of nachos'.

17

You totally love yourself.

If you don't love yourself, how in the hell can you love anybody else?

These are 10 of the World CRAZIEST Ice Cream Flavors
Created by Tal Garner
On Nov 18, 2021
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