Which Halloween Candy Are You?

You’re an Almond Joy!
See the wine that pairs best with Almond Joy: www.coastalliving.com/almondjoy
You can be divisive. And your sense of humor has been described as “less than crowd-pleasing.” But in your mind, that’s a good thing. In the immortal words of Pee-Wee Herman, you’re a loner. A rebel. Chocolate, coconut, and one strategically placed almond aren’t for you? Whatever. That’s because you have a dedicated clique that appreciates you for what you are: offbeat, one-of-a-kind, wholly unique. Be proud. You’re a true individual.

You’re Candy Corn!
See the wine that pairs best with Candy Corn: http://www.coastalliving.com/candycorn
You can’t name a single Drake song. You couldn’t pick Bieber out of a toe-headed lineup. And who the heck is Tay Tay? No, you much prefer Elton John circa “Madman Across the Water” and Ziggy Stardust-era Bowie. You were collecting vinyl before Urban Outfitters turned it into a hipster obsession. And you’ve seen “Annie Hall” more times than you can count. You’re an old soul.

You’re Snickers!
See the wine that pairs best with Snickers: www.coastalliving.com/snickers
In 1985, Michael J. Fox portrayed a teen suffering from lycanthropic tendencies: razor sharp canines, off-the-charts virility, and of course, heightened abilities on the basketball court. Underneath the excessive body hair of Fox’s titular Teen Wolf is mild-mannered Scott Howard. But that’s not you. You’re the life of the party. You’re the wolf. You can actually pull off a white suit. And you dare surf on top of a moving van.

You’re Whoppers!
See the wine that pairs best Whoppers: www.coastalliving.com/whoppers
John Hughes’s The Breakfast Club had five distinct Brat Pack archetypes. You remember: “Five total strangers, with nothing in common, meeting for the first time. A brain, a beauty, a jock, a rebel, and a recluse.” Maybe you idolized “princess” Claire. Or had visions of wearing Bender’s sweet fingerless gloves. But deep down, you know what you really are. You’re the recluse. Even bookended between Raisinets and Mike and Ikes—you’re the quiet one on the candy shelf. Don’t worry. Introverts are intellects. And what some people call aloofness, we call graceful introspection.

You’re a Butterfinger!
See the wine that pairs best with Butterfinger: www.coastalliving.com/butterfinger
There’s a reason Bart Simpson is the character most closely associated with the Butterfinger brand. And it’s not just The Simpsons’ two-decade-long tenure with the crispity, crunchety, peanut buttery candy bar. Butterfinger is the sugary patronus of the sassy and irreverent. The class clown forever ready with a witty retort. Think Raphael of the TMNT universe. Or Ralph “Mouth” of the Goonie-verse. In other words, you can be a little exasperating and headstrong. But we love you for it.

You’re Starburst!
See the wine that pairs best with Starbursts: www.coastalliving.com/starburst
Why so bubbly? So perky? Well, you just have a way of spinning every situation into something positive. You see the world through rose-tinted glasses (or orange, yellow, or Maraschino red). You’re the human embodiment of an exclamation point. Or Bob Ross’s happy trees. Somehow, (and this is why we appreciate all the more) you even find a way to muster a smile through all those passive-aggressive questions regarding your caffeine intake.

You’re Nerds!
See the wine that pairs best with nerds: www.coastalliving.com/nerds
You have an insatiable lust for life. Champagne on New Year’s? Try every Wednesday…for breakfast. Like the outdoors? Cute. Ever hiked K2? You’re a born bon vivant who thrives on a good challenge. Think Ferris Bueller hopping aboard a Von Steuben Day parade float. Or a youthful, globetrotting Hemingway dodging bulls in Pamplona. If they hadn’t just filled the role, you’d almost certainly be Dos Equis’s new pitchman. Because yes, you’re that interesting.

You’re Reese’s!
See the wine that pairs best with Reese's: www.coastalliving.com/reeses
In the fifth season of Seinfeld, Jerry starts to notice a strange equalizing phenomenon in his life. He loses a stand-up gig…then minutes later gets a call to perform somewhere else. He plays poker and breaks even. His girlfriend dumps him, and he immediately starts dating someone else. As Kramer notes: he’s Even Steven. That’s you. You’re consistent and measured. You might not have George’s notable neurosis. Or Elaine’s timeless one-liners. But you’re a natural born leader. And, even better, your name is on the marquee.