People With Thin Walls Share The Most Bizarre Things They've Heard

In college, I lived in a crappy apartment nearby the school, that was mostly populated by students. Halfway to class one day, I realized I forgot a book and had to rush back to my apartment to get it. As I was running up the stairs (which shared a wall with the stairs in the next door apartment, which mirrored my own) I could have sworn I heard someone yelling. I ignored it and ran to my room to grab my book.

As I clambered downstairs, again I heard yelling, and I paused to listen. I heard some unintelligible moaning, and eventually heard the words “help me,” weakly groaned from the stairs next door. I rushed out and tried their door, but it was locked.

I totally forgot about my class and ran to the apartment management office, hoping that someone was there.

A manager was, thank goodness, and after I explained the situation, she grabbed her master keys and we booked it back to my neighbor’s place. She opened the door and the poor guy was laying in the stairwell (it was one of the ones that goes up halfway to the second floor, then turns 90 degrees for the rest of the way), clearly having fallen. I called 911 while the manager ran over to the guy.

Ambulance came and picked him up, and I later learned that he had fallen down the stairs after passing into a brief diabetic coma. I guess he hadn’t eaten in some time; I don’t know too much about how diabetes works. Anyhow, to this day, I feel grateful that I forgot that book.

That poor guy could have died, slumped halfway down the stairs with his face in the carpet.

thatdanglion

My last apartment had particularly weak walls between apartments. One night I was reading in bed and I was unknowingly the third party to a particularly nasty fight between the couple living next door. The fight last for almost an hour and was apparently the end of their said relationship as she was going to leave him and the apartment the next day. The longer the fight went on the more interested I became as I pieced snippets of the reason for the fight together.

I did not know them personally, only enough to wave and say hi, help them with carrying up groceries etc...good neighbor stuff.

It seemed Couple A (both early thirties) were becoming bored with their sex life. For whatever reason they decided that they would fulfill a fantasy of theirs and invite a third individual to join them sexually.

Male A and Female A found through some online means Male B to join them. I guess things worked out for awhile, from the snippets of the fight I caught Male B had joined them on multiple occasions for various sexual escapades.

The kicker was Female A came home early from a work trip and found Male A and Male B deeply engrossed in their sexual acrobatics without her. Female A flipped out and I guess after that point they tried to patch things up but she caught both of them on two other occasions (the latest being the night before fight night that I was unashamedly listening to)

Neither neighbor would hold my gaze for long the next morning. I think they were to embarrassed or ashamed to ask if I had heard anything and presumed I heard it all. I even offered to carry a box of stuff she was lugging out of the apartment (remember..good neighbor). She mumbled something and said no. He was packed, moved out and gone a week later.

Needless to say it was the most interesting thin walled apartment experience I have had the vicarious pleasure to be part of.

lordtarantula

Years ago I had an upstairs neighbor. At 2am, every night, I would hear something sprint across the entire apartment. I realized three things, it was very fast, it took small strides, and it never deviated from its path. One day, I saw my neighbor outside and I said, "I dont know how you have energy at 2am?" He responded with, "Dude, I've been working the midnight to 8am shift for 15 years. Doesnt bother me at all".

That night, I watched him leave his house, drive off, and waited two hours. At exactly 2am, I heard what sounded like two feet hit the floor in his bedroom, and the marathon started.

A few weeks later, I see him outside. I tell him what I hear at night and he says, "That's strange, no one has my keys, it's just me and my rabbit up there."

MancetheLance

I actually manage an apartment complex where my office is surrounded by a one bedroom unit. The building is old and the walls are thin. The tenant that used to live in the unit was a quiet man but would frequently sing beautiful opera music. His voice was amazing and I loved it every time I heard him sing!

Then one time I saw him in the halls and made the mistake of asking if he was the one who sang these beautiful opera songs. His face turned red but he confirmed that it was him. I told him that I always enjoyed it when I heard him sing and that it would always brighten my day.

Never should have said anything because I never heard him sing again.

Funke

I moved from far away, so I have a different state license plate than everyone else at the apartment complex. A couple of days ago I head my upstairs neighbor drunkenly ranting to his wife about what he thinks I'm up to. He's convinced that I'm on the run from something. I'm just in grad school lmao.

greatergood2019

Ok but take a second to realize the opportunity you have here. I’d personally play this one out. Give vague answers when asked about your life, when walking to your car look over both shoulders at least once a week. Fake a phone call while they’re home with a vague but suspicious conversation. If you see them in the hall way ask them if they’ve seen someone resembling a sketchy character you’ve made up. You have a chance to be truly mysterious. They’ll tell stories of you for years to friends about the neighbor who may have been on the run.

MagickalMama_

The way my old apartments were laid out, the neighbors bedroom was right next to my kitchen / dining room. One night, I hear them banging (thin walls are thinner when the bed is hitting the wall) while I was fixing dinner.

I just turned up the music and continued on with my life. Two hours later, I was cleaning up , doing dishes, and generally tidying up when I heard the familiar thump thump thump of banging. I think, good for them and bag up the trash to take out.

Thump thump thump.

I open the door and take my bag of trash outside. As I’m walking out, I see the male half of my thumping neighbors....walking in from his car.

Walking back from the dumpster, I see a half naked dude running out of the neighbors apartment. They moved shortly after that.

Cypher_Shadow

When I was an older teenager I had my own tiny apartment in the hood and a raging asshole gang member for a boyfriend. We would get in raucous fights and my downstairs neighbor would call the police.

One time, I was crying quietly after a particularly bad fight that had gotten physical and I heard my neighbor arguing with her husband “No, I’m not going to mind my own business and ignore it. I don’t care that he always comes back the next day & she forgives him.

One day he’s going to really hurt her or kill her and I’m not going to live with knowing that I sat there and did nothing when I KNEW a girl was being abused”. I was naive and in love, I thought and ignorant and young and I had never considered it ABUSE.

That felt so melodramatic but I realized that my neighbor was right. Finally left him for good after that fight. So, good looking out random lady in east LA in 1999. I’m sorry for being the worst neighbor imaginable.

KayaXiali

Upstairs neighbors were a single mom and teenage daughter. They were very loud. The mom’s room was above my room. One day I had off and was woken up by sex upstairs. It was pretty common in the previous couple weeks. This time, though, someone came in and started screaming.

“YOU’RE HAVING SEX IN MYYYYY BED?!”

Turns out the daughter had been skipping school and coming back to the apartment with her boyfriend. They were the ones having sex in the mom’s bed. The fight that ensued should’ve earned both women awards.

BluestLantern85

My landlord fuckin his wife couple of times per week, she screamed like a pornstar. They were on the first floor and I was on the second one, sometimes if I'd walk above their bedroom and they heard it they'd stop for a couple of second and go right back to boner town after.

Forgot something....

So yeah we were 3 guys living in the appartement and we'd often invite some girls over (friends) to have dinner and drinks but we would usually stay up pretty late and it would be in the middle of the week, pretty much once a week. They were the kind of girls who laugh/talk pretty loud, and our landlord asked us if we were having orgies, he wasn't even kidding. Didn't know how to respond to that, so we just laughed it off and kept him wondering.

baboutron

I used to live in a sketchy building and my landlord lived right underneath me. My landlord was a weird guy and there were all kinds of rumors about him the whole time i lived there, but i just tried to chalk it up to gossip.

There were a ton of homeless people in the neighborhood, which was fine, they were just part of the neighborhood and anyone who lived there knew them. A lot of days they would hang out on our front stoop, and no one really cared or made an issue out of it. Anyway, i would often hear knocks that sounded like they were coming from the windows, not the front door. I would try to run over and catch whoever it was but could never catch anyone in time.

So one night i hear the knocking while im in bed and it sounds like its from the window right under me to my left so i look down real quick, see one of the regular homeless guys in the neighborhood, and see my landlord open up the door and let him in.

So I lay there listening wondering wtf is going on, and as clear as day I hear the homeless guy say to my landlord "I need something to eat. I was just wondering if you needed a back rub or something." That's when I realized all the rumors I had heard about my landlord and tried to brush off were actually true.

fightandfury

Neighbor worked a lot and hired a new sitter.

New sitter invited 2 guys over. Kids were only 3 and 1 Heard her say "if we leave to go to the corner store now, the kids will be fine alone for 20 minutes." and heard them talking about popping some of moms xanax and selling them.

Then they promptly left. I walked out knocked on the door and the 3 year old boy came out. I called the police, went into the apartment found moms work number next to the sink and she was furious. Left work and came back home and as she was walking up to thank me and the officers, the babysitter and guys came into the complex. (Mind you this was all within an hour, not 20 minutes lol).

Mom whooped babysitter, then called babysitters mom and she got another whoopin. Got offered a sitting job after that and took it. LOL. Also have heard one of my neighbors talking in tongues and yodeling. Glad I dont live in apartment anymore.

turbochargedgoldfish

I lived under some Cubans who played Air Supply when they had sex at the absolute loudest volume they could. They also really enjoyed soccer/football, and the woman would make sounds like a siren, just long extended “wwwoooooooooooooo!” for minutes on end whenever something exciting happened.

They were pretty terrible neighbors. Really obnoxious and loud all the time. They would mop their patio, and the dirty water ran all over our porch. They also poured out used mop water off the patio too. The parking was terrible in that complex and they would occupy two spaces with one vehicle.

They pretended not to speak English whenever we tried to talk to them (even before all the problems; I try to be friendly with my neighbors), but they would also speak loud English right outside our apartment as if we couldn’t hear them. So one day I tried to say hello to them and got a terse, rude reply in Spanish followed by “No comprendo” so I casually asked my sister if she thought the guy knew his wife was sleeping with that blonde they always had over (not made up, they were having an affair).

There was lots of screaming from their apartment later on. No regrets.

alisha1017

My dad used to fart loudly in his sleep, and I told my sister it sounded like someone slapping a vat of butterscotch pudding. She laughed so hard she cried, peed in her pants, AND woke my parents up. We were in our 20’s, so it was kind of awkward.

Editing to add: In the nanosecond I had, post-paternal-pudding-phart, I envisioned a big vat of pudding, with a hand slapping it. My dad has always only liked two kinds of pudding, and one was butterscotch, so that’s what I envisioned. The other kind he likes is tapioca, and I’m glad I didn’t think of it, because fundamentally, when you compare puddings, butterscotch was perfect. Tapioca would have only conjured up lumps and a sharty mess to clean up.

Edit #2. I told my dad about this post, and he was horrified that I thought a fart he’d slept through was his best. He and my mom agreed that her funeral fart (posted further down) was an award winner. Then he says, “Tell them (all Redditors, I assume) about the time your mother made seagulls fart! And how she trapped us in the room while she air-shit herself! Tell ‘em that one!”

BubbaChanel

Oh boy. My old neighbors were the absolute worst. They're apartment was behind mine so we shared a bedroom wall. Loud sex as well as full on fights at 4am. I heard the entire breakup. She told him to just leave, and he did. She wasn't expecting that I guess and spent the next several hours sobbing and yelling "why are you doing this to me".

She also called him about 40 times with no reply. Then got to hear all her rebounds, one of which came over around 2am and couldn't keep it up which led to her yelling at him. That didn't stop them though. They kept trying for hours and when we knocked on the wall they fucking knocked back. Bitch!!!! I have a job to get to in 3 hours!

God I hated her. Another time I overheard her almost overdose in the bathroom, the bf called her parents who called an ambulance. When her bf left she also stopped taking care of her dog, so she would just take it right outside her front door to shit and never cleaned it up. I don't even know her name but I know more about her personal life than probably most of her friends do.

aivrynotavery

I’ve moved out now, but I used to live in such a place. Hearing arguments was pretty common place, and you could get pretty blasé about it.

Until one night, I heard an argument about 11pm coming from above. I had work the next day so I was a bit pissed but fell asleep anyway despite them persisting in their shouting match.

I woke about 2 or 3am roughly, with the female voice sounding out only one thing:

Help me. Help me. Help me.

I don’t think I’ve been so sure to call 999 ever in my life.

The police came pretty quick, although I did not give a statement, they were there until 8am so it must have been something awful given the number of police that was there. I never did find out what really happened and I don’t think I ever want to. just hope she was all right in the end.

erakat

So many things.

• Dude downstairs tried to learn Eric Clapton's Tears in Heaven for months but could only play the first three notes.

• Upstairs neighbour playing the organ. I knew him so if I heard him I'd text him song requests.

• Different downstairs neighbour used to have long loud weekday parties. We told them to STFU around 11pm and they did, until they started again at 3am. Called the cops and had a good time listening through the floorboards to them bullshitting and trying to defend themselves.

• The best one: the exploits of the neighbour's four year old son. Most mornings he was happy, but some mornings he had meltdowns. He was very good at yelling "I don't want to", and by the sounds of it there were a lot of things he didn't want to do, but the rest of his sentences were lost to whining and crying. I got to hear about the theme he wanted for his next birthday party and how his hand now smelled like poop because he accidentally touched his butthole. One morning he was super happy to go to preschool and then he had a meltdown and didn't want to go anymore because he got his sock wet. Great kid.

d3f3ct1v3

My previous apartment was an absolute shithole owned by a guy who can most accurately be described by the word “slumlord.”

He rented primarily to illegal immigrants/convicted felons/people who would be afraid to complain about the living conditions. I am not an illegal immigrant, nor am I a convicted felon, and I made this landlord’s life hell by demanding that he fix everything that wasn’t up to code and notifying the board of health when he didn’t.

The family to our right was a Mexican family... a couple and their four elementary school-aged children. One night, I heard them arguing about trying to get their family out of this shithole apartment complex and into a better living situation. All of a sudden, the lady yelled, “you didn’t even have the balls to make (the landlord) fix the broken septic tank. Maybe I should be having this conversation with the kid next door!”

I’m pretty sure I laughed loud enough to be heard by the entire complex.

VenomousSemenStain

Domestic violence.

Once heard the methhead downstairs neighbor being strangled by her methhead boyfriend. Woke up at 3 AM to thumping on the walls and heard choking noises, then a squeaker “stop! I can’t breathe!” Followed by more choking noises.

I called the cops immediately and they showed up like 2 minutes later. Arrested the guy for battery, possession, and paraphernalia. Because I requested a follow up phone call I was told at about 5:00 AM that she put in for an order of protection against him and I shouldn’t have to worry about his BS anymore.

Saw him again going back into that apartment about 2 weeks later.

The neighbor (probably 55, but looked 70) cursed me out a month or so later after she figured out it was me they called the cops. I guess she preferred death to not having her meth-friend around.

timjasf

When I first moved into my previous apartment there was family living on the first floor right below us. When the parents weren’t screaming at each other they were screaming at their little girl. But we quickly realized they were moving out within the month so we endured and hoped the next neighbors would be better. They weren’t.

Two women moved in and things were rocky from the start. The first night they had incredibly loud sex. A few days later the arguing began.

From what we could gather, woman 1 wasn’t sure they were ready to move in together and woman 2 took that to mean she was having doubts about the relationship. For a few weeks they alternated between sex and fighting. The last fight they had, woman 2 accused woman 1 of cheating and woman 1 insisted there was no one else. Apparently the relationship ended that night, only about a month after they moved in together.

The next day woman 2 moved out. That evening woman 1 had a male friend over and from the sound of it she had definitely been cheating.

annabelle58