The Essential Episodes Of 'Seinfeld'

This is the first Seinfeld episode that was actually like a real Seinfeld episode. I say this because it's the first one that had Elaine in it, with her classic debut scene with Jerry that comes late in the episode where he asks if she wants to hang out in one of those cappuccino places and she says, “Ill go if I don't have to talk.” Also of note? It's the only episode in whole series that doesn't start with the word “the.” And not to mention, it also contains the first instance of “Kramerica industry's” as well as the first time Kram talk about a “pizza place where you make your own pie.” And at the heart of the episode it also asks the question, how does a man break up with his male friend? If “The Male Unbonding” happened in 2015, the answer would be simple! Just ignore his Facebook messages and event invites LMAO! BTW here's a little trivia about this episode for you. Jerry's terrible friend that he broke up with? Ya, that's Kevin Dunn, who's in the hit HBO show VEEP, staring none other than Julia Louis Dreyfus BABY!!!

Grade: A+

So NBC was NOT COOL with this idea when Larry and Jerry first pitch the idea of this episode to them. Apparently it was a battle throughout season 2 to get this baby on the air, and finally the National Broadcasting Cooperation just buried it until late, late, late in the season. Ya the suits didn't like it because it was all set in one location (Chinese restaurant) and they were like “boring, who's gonna want to watch this?” But in the end this kafkaesque nightscape of an episode was so critically acclaimed that NBC was just like “damn we messed up” you know, like “maybe we need to just let Larry David do his thing, see as how he is obvi one of the most brilliant and innovative minds working in television today.” George's subplot in this episode is that he's waiting to use a pay phone so that he can explain to his GF Tatyana why he left her place during sex (he had to use the toilet!). If this happened today, obvi he could just text her on his iPhone 6 Plus or Samsung Galaxy Note!!

Grade: A

Ever been to an airport? OK and when you arrived, have you ever seen one of those guys holding a sign with someone's name on it? That's a limo driver and they're waiting for their guest. Now let me ask you this: have you ever simply just wondered when you saw the limo driver, “hmm, what would happen if I just lied to that driver and tell them the name on their sign is belonging to me?” LOL this episode DIVES RIGHT into that very proposition with hysterical and terrifying results. One of Larry Davids jobs while he was toiling away in New York City before his comedy career took off was actually a driver so I have to presume that this story (written by BORAT director Larry Charles) appealed to him for that reason!! Please don't stop reading this article. I know I'm not so great at spelling but I said to the editors at Entertainment Weekly I will write this for you on one condition, that you leave my words untouched. I have had experiences with editor’s before where my writing has been TAMPERED WITH and it's just not even like I wrote it any more.

Grade: A+

Be honest. It's just you and me now. Have you ever been “caught” touching yourself? You know.. in your downstairs area? Well that's just what happens to George in this absolutely unforgettable episode of Seinfeld when his mam caught him “treating his body like an amusement park” to Glamour Magazine. Funny story, Glamour Magazine actually interacted with me on Twitter about this. I was replying to the other Seinfeld parody twitter account (the one that's not funny IMO) and then this other guy responded and he tagged @Glamourmag in his tweet, and then Glamour tweeted from their official account “we will never escape this legacy.” Maybe Glamour's staff members have to contend with references to this episode on a reg. basis! Anyway, in the episode George and his friends Jerry, Elaine and Krankers all decide that they will attempt to abstain from pleasuring themselves in there private zones. Funny to think about how quaint it was that George used Glamour compared to today, with all the depraved adult videos that now exist right at our fingertips. I guess it's true what they say: life has changed drastically since November 1992, when this episode first was on TV. Life more modern now.

Grade: A++

At this point the show had really “step into its stride” or however the expression goes. U know what I mean. It was a bona fide hit and the most memorable episodes were now coming fast and furious (rest in peace Paul Walker). Like all great episodes, this one finds George lying – this time, to his new GF, who was the hottest girl in his high school so what choice did he have – that he was in fact a marine biologist. Well it just so happened that he had to make lie when he's walking down the beach with his GF and there's a beached whale, and someone (actually the voice of Larry David) cries out, “IS ANYONE HERE A MARINE BIOLOGIST?!” The final scene in this episode contains perhaps the finest soliloquy that will ever pass through Jason Alexanders lips. And he's a Tony Award winner IRL (just like Kramer when he won a Tony for "Scarsdale Surprise" LOL) so you know I'm not saying that lightly!!! Sometimes when I write these cultural articles, inevitably someone will either comment or tweet “I couldn't even get through this article it gave me a headache.” please save it OK? I know I'm not the greatest writer in the world but not everyone had the privilege of attending the Harvard school of writing. All you have to know is that I'm trying my best and I'm working on improving not just as a writer but also just as a human being OK.

Grade: A+

It's no secret that Jerry Seinfeld loves Superman. He's OBSESSED with Superman much in the same way that I am obsessed with Seinfeld! Like, OK, if I was Seinfeld? My apartment would have Seinfeld pics and dolls (just like it is in my real life) just in the same way that Jerry's apartment had Superman in every episode. I guess what I'm trying to say is that Jerry Seinfeld is my hero – except instead of being able to alter the rotation of the earth to reverse time, Jerry's super power is just a total lack of empathy for humans, even his BFFs LMAO. If I was Superman and I had the power to reverse time, know what I would do? I'd go back to 1997 when Jerry was deciding to stop making brand new episodes of Seinfeld and I would say “JERRY!! Don't do it BABY!! The world is counting on you to make brand new episodes of your hit TV show where Jerry uses ipads and have stories based on his experiences using different mobile apps!!!!!!” Oh ya so this episode is hilarious because it's kind of like a parody of Superman and it even uses the Superman theme in it's final climax scene!!

Grade: A

SMH come on man. You thought I wasn't going to include the god damn Soup Nazi on this list? YA RIGHT. No way Jose. This is one of the undisputed kings of Seinfeld episodes and I'd have to have a frigging SCREW LOOSE if I didn't put this episode in my list of most essential episodes of Seinfeld. I mean where do I start? This episode is basically jammed to the gills with memorable lines. “NO SOUP FOR YOU” LOL. “SHMOOPIE” LMAO. And not to mention Newman going “JAMBALAYA” LMFAO!!!! Apparently the real soup Nazi (because this episode is actually based on a real life guy in New York City) HATES this episode. He thinks it made him into a joke and ruined his reputation. He especially despises being referred to as a “Nazi”, just what with all the horrible connotations that word possess's. Anyway, if you haven't seen this episode, make sure to check it out on Hulu. They paid a crisp $180 milly for the rights to air the entire series run of Seinfeld, which is why I am writing this article

Grade: A++

“Here's to those who wish us well, and those who don't, can go to hell” – and with that fateful toast, Elaine is off, doing one of the most memorable and straight up hilarious dances in the history of popular culture. But let's not forget some of the other hilarious aspects of this episode! Like what about when George pretend to be the “bad boy” for the purpose of sexually titillating his GF! Or when Jerry get coerced into “bootlegging a movie” and then he started to take it SO seriously that it's almost like he's a director, himself! (Of course this would be foreshadowing to when he directed his own movie, the family fun adventure Bee Movie [hang on scratch that, I just did a Wikipedia scan for Bee Movie and disappointingly it turns out he didn't direct it] about a Bee name Barry B Benson as he exited the hive and had a wild adventure in the real world– even at one point dating a HUMAN woman voiced to perfection by Rene Zellweger)

Grade: A+

I'm not gonna lie to you, this episode gets a bad rap. The critics say it doesn't “feel” like a traditional Seinfeld episode. Well DUH of course it doesn't -it's the last episode of Seinfeld!!! You want it to just be a “normal” and mundane episode where Jerry is just in his apartment and he finds a silver dollar on the floor and then Uncle Leo say “no no Jerry, that MY silver dollar” and then Jerry goes “ya? Prove it” and Uncle Leo.. OK I'm not gonna go on about this, you get my point. Some people didn't like how in this episode, basically it have a procession of every single guest character from Seinfeld who had been screwed over in some way by Jerry, George, Elaine and Krantandar. Think about it from the perspective of Larry David. This episode was basically a love letter to that tertiary cast of fantastic characters and a way to ensure that they would each get an extra pay cheque that would last the rest of their lives as the show went in to syndication. And a lot of people didn't like the dark and twisted ending, which, if u don't know what happens, I won't ruin it for you. Then again what is the statue of limitations on TV show spoilers? I mean come on you know what happens. FINE I DON'T EVEN CARE. THEY GO TO PRISON. Whoa, why are u mad at me for ruining the ending of Seinfeld? Whatever, it's your fault for not watching whole series by now. I mean seriously, for ages the world has been telling you that this is the best show in television history and you just ignore that and then you have the GALL to actually get upset because someone gave away the ending of a show seventeen years after the fact? I'm sorry but you don't have a leg to stand on. Anyway I guess we've reached the end of the article.

Grade: A