Why Won't You Graduate On Time?
Why Won't You Graduate On Time?
Every year, about 12 percent of Dartmouth's class takes a little bit longer than four years to graduate. The real question is: why won't you graduate on time?
Every year, about 12 percent of Dartmouth's class takes a little bit longer than four years to graduate. The real question is: why won't you graduate on time?
How athletic are you?
What's your opinion on the Dartmouth Seven?
What do you like to have wake you up each morning?
Are you considering working on Wall Street after graduation?
What's your opinion of humidity?
Who is Phil Hanlon?
What is your favorite type of class?
Who is your intellectual hero?
What is your pet peeve?
And finally, are you Bed, Bath or Beyond?
PE Requirement
PE Requirement
You need three physical education credits to graduate, but sadly you repeatedly failed introductory golf so many times that Dartmouth just kicked you out in exasperation. #NARPlife
Swim Test
Swim Test
Uh oh, you've drowned while attempting to complete the swim test! You waited until senior spring to begin working on your swim test and then, oopsies, you just drowned in the pool. That's awkward. Almost $300,000 and four years down the drain – literally.
Dartmouth Seven
Dartmouth Seven
It's a little-known fact that the Dartmouth Seven is actually a graduation requirement. If Phil and Gail catch you in the midst of your coital bliss, you're screwed – but not in the figurative sense. Sorry buddy, no graduation for you.
ECON 20
ECON 20
You've failed ECON 20 – for the one-hundred seventy second time. Thus, you have been continuously incapable to finish your Economics major. It's okay, though; at least now you can't sociopathically destroy the global economy from a comfortable berth at Goldman.
The Communists
The Communists
Ah, comrade! Alas! The communists have taken over New Hampshire and all education must now be distributed evenly. As such, Dartmouth has become the People's University of the Promotion of Soviet Labor in Northern New Hampshire (PUPSLNNH for short; no, don't try to pronounce that).
Phil Hanlon's Mustache
Phil Hanlon's Mustache
The musk of former College President John Kemeny keeps Phil Hanlon's 'stache luxuriant, but it can also ensnare unwitting students, trapping them deep in the nether regions below Phil Hanlon's nose for all eternity.