Battle of the Alans: Alan Partridge vs Alan Sugar – Who said what?
Battle of the Alans: Alan Partridge vs Alan Sugar – Who said what?
One is the greatest chat show host to ever hail from North Norwich, the other is the business mastermind behind legendary British technology company Amstrad. But which of these two great UK minds was responsible for the following words of wisdom?
One is the greatest chat show host to ever hail from North Norwich, the other is the business mastermind behind legendary British technology company Amstrad. But which of these two great UK minds was responsible for the following words of wisdom?
"People forget that on the Titanic's maiden voyage there were over 1000 miles of uneventful, very pleasurable cruising before it hit the iceberg."
"I did a degree in first aid, I didn’t enjoy doing mouth to mouth resuscitation, but I have to do it when it’s needed to be done."
"You're sacked! You are sacked, I'm sacking you. In fact, it's happened, it's over, it's already happened, you are a sacked man. "
"If you lock me in the room with a piano teacher for a year I might be able to knock out a rendition of 'Roll Out The Barrel,' but will I ever be a concert pianist? No."
"Your back's against the wall and you're almost done for – it's Dunkirk all over again!"
"You don’t want to be ditching a plane over the sea, I can assure you. "
"Never, ever criticise Muslims; Christians only and sometimes Jews."
"A broken home is not an excuse for evil."
"Guide dogs for the blind. It's cruel really, isn't it? Getting a dog to lead a man round all day. Not fair on either of them."
"I know the words to Candle in the Wind – it doesn’t make me Elton John."
"I don’t care what you call me. You could call me Alan as far as I’m concerned. "
"In my mind God made Adam and Eve, he didn't make Adam and Steve."
"'I have an imaginary remote control in my hand - and you're on pause."
"I can read you like a book. And not a very good book. Certainly not 'Bravo Two Zero' by Andy McNab. Which actually improves with every read."
"Go to London, I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated."
"Sunday Bloody Sunday. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it?"
"I don’t like the idea of being put to sleep and being totally out of control. "
"Putting a damp spoon back in the bowl is the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a needle."
"I know you're Belgian, that's where those waffles come from."