5 Marvel Characters Who Will Never Get Their Own MCU Film

When people started questioning the Guardians of the Galaxy movie and how weird and outlandish the characters were to make it to the screen, all I could do was laugh. The Guardians of the Galaxy are one of the more "normal" group of characters in the Marvel universe.

Take good old Ruby Thursday, clearly named to avoid a fight with Ruby Tuesday's (I can't confirm or deny that is actually the case). Working your eyes from the bottom up you get a sexy lady who loves wearing skimpy clothes. But then you reach the top and find out shes got a head that looks like the head of a thermometer.

She apparently can throw her ball head around and since its malleable, can create tentacles, wings, and all sorts of weird things. She's a part of the Headmen, a group of villains that all suffered from traumatic head injuries, each with their own weird powers and abilities. Makes the Guardians look pretty darn normal in comparison.

Look, the NFL isn't a paragon of virtue, in fact, the organization is pretty shitty, fighting Electronic Arts and Comcast for being the worst company in the world. That being said, NFL Superpro probably has the best chance of being made at least into a Netflix special thanks to all the money the NFL saved ignoring concussion research.

NFL Superpro is weird beyond weird. It's essentially an ex-NFL player who wears a football uniform that can't be destroyed. He's like Iron Man if instead of stuck in a cave in Iraq, he got locked in a Dick's Sporting Goods during a three-day weekend.

But it gets weirder as Phil Grayfield (the man who become Superpro) gets beat up, doused in "chemicals" and has the building he's in, which is full of NFL merchandise, set on fire. He puts on the suit to save himself and becomes NFL Superpro. Oh, and his magic suit is just made of fiberglass. He got 12 issues.

Asbestos Man, if you couldn't tell, comes from a very different time in American history. You know, "the good old days" that people love to bring up but were really pretty terrible when you look at them. Asbestos Man comes from that time and would now make a great spokesman for those mesothelioma lawsuit commercials that play on TV during your grandparents "stories".

Dr. Orson Karloff, real-world identity of Asbestos Man, is a Ph.D chemist who has a superhuman ability to analyze chemistry. Using those skills he creates ""super-asbestos" for double the cancer! He uses this to make a suit to fight the first Human Torch, the human one. Look, comics are weird, okay.

Funny enough, once we found out that asbestos, you know, gives you fucking cancer, him and characters like him sort of went away. The California Asbestos Legal Center actually paid tribute to Asbestos Man in 2012 calling him "a lasting reminder of the significant cover-up perpetrated by the asbestos industry regarding the danger associated with asbestos exposure"

There was a time in American history when truckers were mondo cool. The freedom of the open road, the cute coffee shop waitresses, the dead prostitutes, you know, classic Americana. There was even a massively huge song about being a trucker!

Marvel always one to take advantage of a trend created US 1, a guy who is REALLY good at driving a very big truck. His truck is outfitted with whatever the writer needed at any given time. Oh, and he also has a metal plate in his skull that can pick up CD radio signals.

He used his "college education" to create his truck, so his main weapon isn't even all that special. His only goal is to hunt down the dude that caused him to crash and get the plate put into his head. That's some serious movie quality pathos.

El Guapo is a member of the X-Statix group, each who could probably make this list, who has a power of sorts. Look, the X-Men are cool, but that's the problem. The X-Men are all sexy people in their prime with awesome powers we all want. Turns out though, that mutations don't normally turn you into an Adonis with super strength. Sometimes it just gives you flippers and sometimes it lets you control a single skateboard -- El Guapo is the later.

That right, this guy had the mutant power of controlling a skateboard. You'd think this would be a terrible power for fighting crime (you'd be right), but if he just stuck to being the next Tony Hawk it could have paid off. Oh, and he could only control his skateboard, not every skateboard.

He fought crime and ended up being killed by his own skateboard. Well, he actually hummed a cursed song that compelled his skateboard to murder him, so on the list of lame and embarrassing deaths, his is near the top.