5 Of The Worst Wii Games Ever

I love boxing. I love watching it, playing simulations of the art, and even playing arcade action titles based on the glorious sport. Showtime Championship Boxing had a lot going for it in terms of a boxing game. Showtime as a network, next to HBO (RIP HBO boxing), is a heavyweight in terms of boxing platforms.

So, them putting out a game based on boxing makes sense. They understand the art really well. Too bad the studio behind it had no idea what boxing is all about. This motion controlled game tried to use the Wii's motion controls. The key word in that sentence is tried.

The idea is sound though. You hold up your hands to block attacks and move around to dodge incoming jabs. Flick the controllers and your given arm will strike and jab. All really basic things but none of them work in any reasonable way. The game isn't Punch Out!, but it also isn't a simulation like Fight Night.

Animations are janky and stiff as all hell and the game barely looks as good as an early era PlayStation 2 title. Hell, I've played a smoother boxing game on the 3DO! You want simulation boxing just stick to the Xbox 360. If you have a Wii just play Punch Out! and don't waste you money on this one, even for only $1.

A game based on a movie never bodes well, but a game based on a movie nobody watched or remembered means very little time or effort was probably expended on this garbage. Balls of Fury is the only game that I remember launching straight into bargain bins. And I've never seen the game on sale for over $1 myself.

Look, ping pong on the Wii makes perfect sense. The ability to take advantage of the motion controls seems like a no-brainer. The tennis game in Wii Sports was loads of fun and the table tennis mini-game in Wii Play was pretty okay. Needless to say you should stick to those titles if you want an actual game.

Balls of Fury had some potential because of the simple nature of the game while being able to add in silly power-ups and abilities that the movie was known for. Nothing that is going to win awards, but it should have been an easy game.
So it's crazy that the game simply doesn't work.

Motion controls are broken and seem to only work whenever they feel like it. You'll spend more time asking what is going on than playing anything looking like table tennis. What's worse id that a great tabel tennis game exists over on the Xbox 360 from Rockstar Games, and that didn't even need motion controls.

It wouldn't be a 'Worst Wii Games' list without at least one title from shovelware experts Zoo Games. ATV Quad Kings is that title for this list. This budget title (it's Zoo Games of course) aims to trick you into thinking its a sequel to the fantastic MX vs ATV series.

In reality this is a N64 caliber (and I'm being generous) racing game that does just enough to be able to be considered a video game. Tilt controls are a literal nightmare, but at least you can play it with a Nunchuck and Remote combo for something more resembling actual controls.

Motion controls feel way too twitchy and sensitive, while standard controls feel far too easy and lacking challenge. Look, I've only ever ridden a Quad once in my life but it sure didn't feel like the way motion controls depict it. Unless, of course, they were trying to emulate a ride after 42 energy drinks.

Tracks, rides, and riders are all super generic to the point of boredom. There is nothing flashy at all in this package and the physics is suspect at the best of times. You have a few modes and 18 tracks to race on, but chances are you'll never see them all before you toss this one in the bin.

There was a couple of years there where XSEED Games was trying to making the Valhalla Knights series a thing, at least here in the United States. Chances are you have never heard of the RPG and considering it's the third in the series says a lot about how little it connected with players. In fact, this Wii game is simply a port from the PSP game of the same name.

The problem is that the game is so utterly boring I'd more recommend it as a sleeping aid before I'd recommend it as a video game. It also doesn't help that the game is a Monster Hunter clone, so being boring is almost mind-boggling.

I like RPGs, but they need to have a solid story otherwise I'll be put to sleep with the massive amounts of filler and text scrolls. This one has something to do with bloodline and... yada, yada, yada. It's boring is what I'm saying. Gameplay isn't much better with some really off-putting mechanics. Who thought that changing gear only in towns was a great idea?

And your limited inventory will often have you skipping cool gear for a healing item so you don't die.And when buying gear you can't compare it to what you already have, so it's all a guess. What's worse is that the game is bitterly ugly, which is a shame as the cover really draws you in. I make fun of modern FPS games for being only shades of brown, but Valhalla Knights: Eldar Saga might take the cake.

The Cruis'n series was a mainstay or the arcades back in the 90s and the original Cruis'n USA helped launch the Nintendo 64. While a port of an arcade racing title, the N64 game was silly, fun and offered up a lot of fun for Nintendo's new console. Cruis'n does the opposite for the then aging Wii console.

The game barely looks better than the final entry that graced the N64 and doesn't do the Wii any favors. I loved, and still love, the Nintendo Wii, but looking at bad games so often makes the console look like one of those cheap Chinese knockoffs and not the revolution that it was.

Cruis'n might actually be the worst looking Wii game I've ever had the displeasure of playing. Hell, I didn't even know it was tied to the original series until I started playing. I actually thought it was a cheap knockoff with the name and cheap cover art.

This game is so offensive it everyone involved should be ashamed of themselves. The motions controls simply don't work and you'll simply slide from one side of the track to the other at will. You can earn money by wrecking other cars, but who really cares. Trash and I'm begging you to never buy this one, not even for $1.