The Secret Formula

At that moment I wanted to cry, so I sent a crying emoji as you saw. I was so happy. It’s very selfish of my to feel this way. Ha! I think I am in-love…
How could I though
I love someone...

I don’t know what death is.
Or if it hurts.
Some people dies before they fall
Or some are still alive screaming,
Crying while the Be-header is struggling to cut your neck
I heard of the Dance of Death
What does it feel like?
Are the one’s who dances with Death cuts themselves?
Choke themselves?
Hurts others?
Runs in the middle of the street and stops to see if they get hit?
Is it an honor to meet Death?
I guess so.

I cover my left eye, something looks different out there
I can’t understand why
I cover my right eye, the world shows a little more of the left side of the room
I now understand the difference
I cover both eyes…
I am in total darkness
My mind played as spirits, whispering in my head
I panicked and gotten scared
Bad, horrible thoughts came to my mind
“You Slut!” “Bitch!” “Cry Baby!”
I started to cry quietly
Then I felt warmth on my hands.
So warm that my tears began to dry
Then they opened my hands slowly
I said, “Jesus? Is that you, my dear friend?”
It wasn’t Jesus though
My hands were out of the view
It was my other human friend
I gazed with awe
It was him himself
“My love?”
It wasn’t who I was expecting but, somehow I knew him
And he apparently knew me
Soon I felt my heart…
My ice cold, broken heart with scars and bruises
My heart… “Ahh! It jumped..” I said clenching my chest bent over
“And it hurts!”
“It’s love…” he said in a reassuring voice
“Fuck off!”
I woke up before I got to curse him out to my satisfaction
Then I got up and looked outside my window
I saw a red moon that night
I heard the crows cackling too
Then I got up on the windowsill
I saw Death fly up to me
“I’m ready” I said to he/r
Then s/he kissed me and I fell
I’ll never understand why I fell that night
Maybe I remembered something
Something that I wanted to forget…
As I say this, tears comes down
Why is it that I am so sad?
I open my hand and it was a piece of shell
The shell that I crushed to forget