Which mountain bike team should you ride for?

Pretending it's not happening until the last minute

Hiring out a wind tunnel

Messing around in the woods of northern England

Attending awards ceremonies

Training camps in California

Someone who's related to me

Someone French

Someone who can also race in the EWS

The fastest rider in the world

A World Cup legend

The rainbow jersey

Hair. Lots of hair

Stealthy and serious

Having similar facial features to my team mates

I wear what I like regardless of what the UCI says

Signings? We just keep the same riders every year

Leave everyone waiting all off season then announce it at the last minute

The normal way - a press release and an edit

It was already ruined by Team Rumours

Building the Red Bull Hardline course

Riding motocross

Competing in the Enduro World Series

Fine tuning your suspension using telemetry kits

Hosting the Steel City downhill race

Using components that nobody else does

Using a wind tunnel

Having a good time - a relaxed rider is a fast rider

The support of your siblings

Training for the EWS alongside the World Cups

Yes, if they're good at whips

No, unless we suddenly get a younger sibling

Yes, but only if nobody has ever heard of them

No, we party too hard for that