You Won't Believe The Origins Of These Famous Nursery Rhymes; They're Not Pretty!

Before I bombard you with a bunch of corny jokes, I'll note that most scholars agree that "Baa, Baa, Black Sheep" is about the Great Custom, a tax on whole that was introduced centuries ago. But enough history - the use of the color black and its use of "master" has also led many scholars to believe there is a racial message as its center.

They're not alone >_>. Quite a few schools have banned the usage of this song and even sang "Baa, Baa, Random Sheep" at an alternative.

Who knows if it was made with racist intent, but it doesn't sit right with quite a few people.

This song dates back to the late 1700s. Other than a name that I find unequivocally stupid, this song used to be SUPER popular with children.

I can't even think of something that genuinely rhymes with "goosey goosey."

The thing is, this is about religious persecution. Yup, I'm serious. Catholic priests would hide in order to say their Latin-based prayers (this was a big, BIG issue back then). They weren't even allowed to pray in their own homes.

In the original version, it notes that there was a man who "wouldn't say his prayers." Do you know the thing that rhymes with prayers? Yup... STAIRS. You can put the pieces together.

Try telling THAT to your kids at bedtime.

Everyone and their grandmother has cracked a joke about Jack and Jill, I'm sure. It's one of the most famous rhymes out there. Its origins aren't as cheery as your childhood stories, though.

One of the most common theories surrounding the story’s origin is that it’s about France’s Louis XVI and his wife, Marie Antoinette, who were both found guilty of treason and subsequently beheaded. The only problem is that those events occurred nearly 30 years after “Jack and Jill” were first written, this is fact checked by respectable historians.

The more likely possibility is that it’s an account of King Charles I’s attempt to reform the tax on liquid measures. When Parliament rejected his suggestion, he instead made sure that the volume was reduced on half- and quarter-pints, known as jacks and gills, respectively.

Let's not pretend like you aren't remembering that cheesy song from Fergie. In case you didn't, I'll just shamelessly put a link down here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4HOUbM8FHU

But let's get back to business:

“London Bridge is Falling Down” could be about a 1014 Viking attack, child sacrifice, or the normal deterioration of an old bridge. But the most popular theory seems to be that first one. More specifically: the alleged destruction of London Bridge at the hands of Olaf II of Norway some time in the early 1000s. (“Alleged” because some historians don’t believe that attack ever took place.)

(There’s no archaeological evidence to support the human sacrifice either, but here's the tea:) The theory goes that in order to keep London Bridge upright, its builders believed that it must be built on a foundation of human sacrifice, and that those same humans—mostly children—would help to watch over the bridge and maintain its sturdiness. Which we’re pretty sure isn’t a the stuff they teach in architecture school.

Well... I'm not an architect, but let's be wishful thinkers.

"'Contrary' is one way to describe a murderous psychopath." Don't you think? When you think someone is weird you say they're different, or creative - or some other lie that sounds rather pleasant.

This popular English nursery rhyme, which reads like a solicitation for gardening advice, is actually a recounting of the homicidal nature of Queen Mary I of England, a.k.a. Bloody Mary.

A fierce believer in Catholicism, her reign as queen—from 1553 to 1558—was marked by the execution of hundreds of Protestants.

I'm sure you all are familiar with the delightfully tomato-ey beverage named after her - Bloody Mary. Some even think she was a vampire...

I kept this picture of Bloody Mary for a good reason.

This nursery rhyme is also from the era of the popular fruit drink, (yes, tomatoes are fruit). The trio in question is believed to be a group of Protestant bishops—Hugh Latimer, Nicholas Radley, and The Archbishop of Canterbury, Thomas Cranmer—who conspired to overthrow the queen and were burned at the stake for their heresy.

Critics suggest that the blindness in the title refers to their religious beliefs. This nursery rhyme in particular gives me the heebie jeebies. Mary had some serious problems. This is why we do't play with monarchies anymore.

No, there’s nothing particularly offensive about the lines “Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo, Catch a tiger by his toe.” But there is when you consider that the word “tiger” is a relatively new development in this counting rhyme. Replace that T with an N and add a G in there, then you're closer to the real problem within this seemingly playful poem.

Even with the lyrical switch-out, any reference to the poem still has the ability to offend. In 2004, two passengers sued Southwest Airlines was for intentional infliction of emotional distress and negligent infliction of emotional distress, following an incident where a flight attendant used the rhyme in a humorous fashion during takeoff when she told passengers: "Eeny meeny miny mo, Please sit down it's time to go.”

Of course they didn't win because it was a stupid case, but that's just to illustrate the type of rage that this poem can create.

Considering that some of today’s classic nursery rhymes are more than two centuries old, there are often several theories surrounding their origins—and not a lot of sound proof about which argument is correct.

I saved this one for last because it's perhaps the most infamous of nursery rhymes out there. It's title has been changed, quite a few of the lyrics have too - why? Clearly there were some sensitive topics that needed to be covered up.

“The rosie” is the rash that covered the afflicted, the smell from which they attempted to cover up with “a pocket full of posies.” The plague killed nearly 15 percent of the country’s population, which makes the final verse—“Ashes! Ashes! We all fall down”—rather self-explanatory.