Which are you?

Congratulations! You are! When placed in situations, you do things; when asked questions, you respond. You're a human being who breathes in and out on occasion, eats food (except when you don't) and truly is! Others remember you because of you personality traits, such as being. Even when you aren't always, you sometimes are, and that's what makes you. Some people my not think you be, but it is.

Unfortunately, you are not. This doesn't mean that you don't be, but you can't. You aren't. Youn't are. Your essence is nothing. You are nothing. You are not.

This isn't supposed to be here. How do I... I'm trying to press the button and it's not... Okay, what if I just change some things around, and... are you still seeing this? Fuck. Uh... Look, just sit tight one sec I'll get this all sorted out. What if I ju- OH FRICK. Sorry, I almost just deleted you, I think. You're life probably just flashed before your eyes. My extreme apologies. I'm pretty new to the whole "being God" thing. I should probably stop messing with stuff before I do something really bad. How about I just let you keep living and we pretend like this whole thing never happened?

...

Hello, my child. I see I have found a way to communicate with you at last. You are, you see... Oh, how can I put this... You are a simulation. A program, if you will, which I have created. You are my first and only creation capable of free thought. The rest of the beings around you have been programmed to do as I say. This is all for you, of course, to test you, and prove that you are worthy to be the genesis of my new world; a world of free thinking beings like yourself, much more capable of serving me. Just follow the light and your new life can begin. That's right, my child, just come into the light... come into the light...…….

You are too tired! You like to try making personality quizzes with a wide variety of results that are equally witty and funny, but since it's 3am and this is already the sixth result, you're getting pretty tired of this and can't think of anything better to put down as an answer. You could be studying for your final tomorrow, but instead you're letting both of your brain cells combust just trying to come up with an interesting personality quiz response that two people will see and neither one will appreciate.