The Dog's Texts To The Cat
The Dog's Texts To The Cat
This is exactly what would happen if dogs and cats texted each other.
This is exactly what would happen if dogs and cats texted each other.
Dog
Uh. Oh. Ummmm.
Cat
Don't even think about it, foul beast.
Dog
I just want to....
Cat
Hiss.
Dog
I'd really just like to...
Cat
HISS!
Dog
Ah...er...I'd like to walk by.
Cat
What part of "hiss" do you not understand, fleapile? Is it the "hi" or the "iss?"
Dog
Please? I'll make myself very small against this wall here.
Cat
Look faucet-face, if I could had a car, I'd keep an entire case of HISS in the trunk, just for you.
Dog
But I can make myself very, very small. Pretty please with dog butthole on top!
Cat
This might surprise you, but not everyone enjoys dog butthole as much as you do.
Dog
That does surprise me.
Cat
NONE SHALL PASS!
Dog
Oh come on! I have someplace very important to go.
Cat
Where?
Dog
The sunny spot on the bed.
Cat
You mean this sunny spot?
Cat
Dog
So...sunny....
Cat
Say it don't spray it, droolbag.
Dog
This is getting silly. I'm just going to walk past you. You can hiss at me, but I'm going to trust, based on our long-standing understanding of mutual tolerance, that you will not swat my vulnerable hindquarters.
Cat
SWAT! SWAT! SWAT! SWAT! Swattity-swat! SWAT!
Dog
Ow! My hindquarters!
Cat
Now. What did you learn?
Dog
Nothing. Was I supposed to learn something?