QUIZ: Which Stock Photo Goth Is The Saddest?

Wednesday is the saddest goth. She accidentally used house paint instead of make up and now she can't wash this look off her face. Awks.

Blade is second saddest goth. He stained his favourite black-chained trousers with ketchup but it doesn't look anything like a blood stain. He's scared everyone's going to laugh at him at the graveyard tonight :(

Amethyst is the third saddest goth. She's sad because she wanted to go to the graveyard tonight but her mum wouldn't let her. Amethyst's mum can be a real bitch like that. She's protesting by laying on the floor until her mum caves in. Amethyst might be there for a long time.

Crow is the fourth saddest goth. He's sad because of capitalism. That, and Amethyst dumped his sorry ass for texting Lilith behind her back. He deserves to be sad IMO.

Damien is the fifth saddest goth. His favourite HIM t-shirt shrunk in the wash and now he has to wear his dad's snooker waistcoat. Life is a cruel mistress.

Raven is the sixth saddest goth. She hates school, her parents, her friends and her hometown. She even hates her dog. But she does have $50 for Urban Outfitters to spend this weekend so life's not *that* bad.

Oracle is the seventh saddest goth or, as he likes to think of it, the second happiest. He's a smug twat like that. When he's not lording it over the depressed goths about how chipper he's feeling, he likes to take long walks by the beach and hit up the arcade. He only gets sad when he looks at his friends.

Tempest is the least saddest goth. That's because she just bought a strawberry & cream Frapp and has hidden it in a more goth-appropriate black plastic cup. She's told everyone it's whiskey mixed with the blood of a goat slain by her own hands. Nice.