Which Downton Abbey character are you?

Passing the port and hoping that bolshie teacher doesn’t gatecrash

Sitting in a corner, weeping silently because you’ve realised you’re the plain one

Thinking how much nicer this is than prison

Wondering which man will fall hopelessly in love with you

Wondering who you could blackmail

Making soup

Wearing plaid and gunning down every feathered thing in sight

Remembering tearfully when you had a man who loved to shoot

Wishing you’d had access to a gun when your ex was playing fast and loose with the rat poison

Hot foot it down there to see if any eligible bachelor fancies a mud wrestle

Wonder how much pigs go for on the black market

Making more soup

Leave someone not dressed in tails to deal with it

Cry over how many swine have broken your heart

Offer to help everyone into less formal clothing

Hot foot it down there to see if any eligible bachelor fancies a mud wrestle

Wonder how much pigs go for on the black market

Plan pea and ham soup

To accept the humble gratitude of the wounded

To pop on a nurses uniform and hope to catch the eye of a vulnerable soldier

To stop any of them catching sight of your much younger, much more attractive partner

To wonder whether any very handsome ones will leap out of a wheelchair if a tea tray gets dropped

To rifle through their pockets while they’re in a coma

To drastically increase soup production

Thank God for increasing the odds of finding a husband for your plain daughter

Hope the odds really have increased and try out a new finger-wave

Hope you don’t have to push any of their servants under a bus

Decide which of their titles suits you best, for when they both ask to marry you after dinner

Two strangers you say? Bet they have something to hide ...

Water down the soup

No, you absolutely hate anything modern

Definitely, there might be news from Germany or anywhere about a missing man, or any man really

No, it will probably be the police calling to arrest you again

Very much so, although would-be suitors ringing night and day might get a little tiresome. Or not

Yes, conversations in a communal area are perfect for a little light eavesdropping

Possibly, depends if you anyone can phone the village grocers. Soup ingredients are running low.

Hopefully giving away one daughter or another, fingers crossed

Unlikely, and if so there’s every chance you’ll be dumped at the altar by a man who realises you’re the plain one

If not otherwise detained. With guards

Obviously. Although you might have to road test a few hopefuls in the Adelphi first

If lurking in the corridor making evil plans counts as involved then certainly

You’ll be making consomme (it’s a posh do, you know)