QUIZ: Who said that? Jim, Michael or Dwight?
QUIZ: Who said that? Jim, Michael or Dwight?
"Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car, so sue me."
"Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica."
"God, this is so sad, this is the smallest amount of power I’ve ever seen go to someone’s head."
"I grew up on a farm, I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable."
"The worst thing about prison was... was the Dementors."
"There are too many people on this earth, we need a new plague."
"I am a black belt in gift wrapping."
"Blink once if you want me to pull the plug."
"So this is my life.
Until I win the lottery."
"I really should have a tweeter account."
"I knew exactly what to do, but in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do."
"Thank you. Thank you, Scranton strangler. I love you! You just took one more person's breath away."
"Master and apprentice pitted against one another for the fate of the greater Scranton area paper market. So it's not exactly like 'Highlander,' but still..."
"Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, so... it was her parents or my parents..."
"When the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly asking for help, you help!"
"Everything I have I owe to this job. This stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job."
"If I could menstruate,
I wouldn’t have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore."
"Oh, it's just a social club.
You know, like the French Revolution, or the Black Panthers, or communism."
"I am king of forwards. It's how I like to do business, everybody joking around."
"There has been a lot of murder and a lot of intrigue. My little heart can barely take it no more."
"This scented candle ...andle ...andle, which I found in the men's bathroom ...room ...room, represents the eternal burning of competition. Or something."
"I’m like Mr. Miyagi
and Yoda rolled into one"
"I was gonna teach the children how to make corn-husk dolls."
"The goal is to get from point A to point B as creatively as possible, so technically they are doing parkour, as long as point A is delusion and point B is the hospital."
"They always say that it is a mistake to hire your friends and they are right!"
"This is what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna randomly select three names and these three people will get liposuction."
"The new receptionist is also named Kelly. So Kelly Kapoor has decided to hover around my desk, so that she can run into his Charles' office every time he calls for Kelly."
"The more stickers you sell, the more profit, fancy word for money, you have to buy PlayStations and Beanie Babies."
"Every year I do research
to determine which toy
will be the most popular
of the Christmas season."
"Am I a hero? I really can't say. But, yes."