We know which classic football boots you wore

Roulette 360 spin

The flip-flap

The Cruyff turn

Skills are too elaborate – that’s not me

Never forgot your kit, no matter what the sport was

Were only interested if the sport was football

Were the one who demanded the best from the team picked

Couldn’t be bothered, the others aren’t even on my level

Aerial threat to bully the opposition

Quick feet to tangle up the opposition

Midfield maestro that keeps everything ticking

Tough and precise in the tackle

Under 20

I keep on going for ages until I’m tired

It varies - sometimes 4, 5 on a good day

Pretend like nothing happened

Roll over multiple times to encourage at least a booking

Jump straight up and confront the opposition with some strong words

Take a mental note, they’ll regret it later on

Angle it back into the box and hope for a goal-bound diversion

Head over the ball, finesse - execute what you’ve practised

Leather the ball and hope

We were unlucky, we go again next week

I can only carry the team for so long

Oh well, what’s for lunch then?

The local kebab

Donuts and snacks for the journey home

A large, high-carbohydrate meal. Nutrition is everything