Can you translate these naughty emoji messages?

You gave me the clap when we had sex.

Let's eat peaches, drink champagne and clap our hands jubilantly.

I dream of making love to you.

I think of office drawers when I'm trying to sleep.

I'm unhinged. Everything is not OK.

I got drunk, sobbed like a baby and now I feel silly.

I split my drinks all over my chum's child and I feel sad about it.

I'm panting with desire at your thought of your sweet, erm, honey.

Do you like my honey? I enjoy licking it all up.

Lets wear masks, feast on sweetcorn doughnuts and play video games.

Sweetcorn and doughnuts are such a dramatic combination.

After we got married, I enjoyed too many aubergines and became shockingly fat.

My aubergine exploded in the oven - and it shocked my unborn baby.

Shall we watch a disaster movie together?

Does my predilection for filming trains spell doom for our relationship?

Those strippers are devilishly sexy, but they don't half smell bad.

I caught a cold off those bunny girls and I feel like death.

I forgot my lunch and am ordering a Deliveroo instead.

Modern life is driving me bananas.

You smell a bit fishy.

I'm only being crabby because you're such a swine.