Which Muppet Are You?

Rocks, bones and live scorpions

Flies, grasshoppers and worms, plus the occasional mouse

Potassium ferrocyanide served with sautéed lead acetate

Wedding buffet; no queue; massive plate

Custard pies, mashed directly into your face

Any meal that doesn't cause you to throw bread rolls at the waiter in rage

It’s a toss up between Shrek and The Wizard Of Oz

The Aristocrats

Miss Congeniality

You've never made it to the end of a movie without being ejected by security

Whiplash

Weird Science

You launch yourself at them like a rabid, flailing spider monkey

You judo-throw your rival to the ground, then sit on them till the lift doors open

You thaw the icy atmosphere with a knock knock joke

Tuts, sighs, grumbles and slow, weary head shakes

Overwhelmed with anxiety, you only manage to emit piercing screeches

Retreat into yourself and imagine you are sitting on a lily pad singing

Single Ladies by Beyoncé

Send In The Clowns by Barbra Streisand

In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins

Shaddap You Face by Joe Dolce

Mr Brightside by The Killers

Biology by Girls Aloud

Crash-test dummy

Professional best man

Pest control technician

Sharp-tongued talent show judge

Demolition expert

Olympic gymnast, international model and heir to Fancy Diamonds Inc.

A date? Pah! Dates are for slack-jawed longhairs and layabout wusses

More hilarious jokes than a Christmas cracker factory

Jumping up and down on wrecked cars down at the scrap yard

A romantic tour of the CERN Large Hadron Collider

A meal at a vegetarian restaurant followed a moonlight stroll through a swamp

Something simple and understated: a solid-gold private jet to Paris, perhaps

Froggit

Any game where you can angrily flip a board over if it looks like you're gonna lose

Games are stupid. In fact, this whole quiz is stupid

Kim Kardashian: Hollywood

Operation

Charades

Juggling, jazz hands, dodging projectiles from disgruntled onlookers

Flouncing out of rooms in a spectacularly dramatic manner

Constant, livid trembling

Yelling mocking comments at joggers in the park

Fleeing electrical fires

Being chased by amorous swine