Seven forgotten motorcycle toys

Bolt it onto the handlebars of your Raleigh Tomahawk, twist it and R-R-R-Raw Power made a sound exactly like, well, like a toy that’s supposed to sound like a motorcycle. It was good enough for seven-year-olds to feel like Evel Knievel in 1976. The only thing R-R-R-Raw Power didn’t have was power. Should have been called R-R-R-Really Annoying Noise.

It’s 1981. Adam Ant and Shakin' Stevens are battling for the number one spot. And hand-held games consoles are clockwork and steam-powered. Take the Eddie Kidd Stunt Bike from Palitoy, in which players had to press a button at the right time to get the bike to jump over obstacles. And that was all. A trained horse could have done it. Guaranteed to amuse a child today for as long it takes to say “Who’s Eddie Kidd?”

You thought we were joking about clockwork hand-held games, didn’t you? No. Pocketeers Stunt Bike was similar in principle to the Eddie Kidd game, in that you had to press a button to jump obstacles. Except the ‘bike’ was on the end of a plastic arm. And you charged it by winding it up. Cue the following conversation: “This thing’s dead. Where’s the charger?” “It’s a wind-up.” “Well it’s not funny. Where’s the charger?”

A home game console (yes that’s ‘game’, not ‘games’ because there was only one) in which you have to control the speed of a pixelated motorcycle to jump the maximum number of buses. And the controls are handlebars. Sounds okay, doesn’t it? Until you watch this one-minute demonstration. Tell a teenager this is what you used to do and they will look at you blankly and say “What for?”

By the early 1980s everything had changed and the ZX Spectrum had opened up a new world of, well, more mind-bending tedium but in a crude three dimensions. ‘Motorbike Madness’ was one of several motorcycle-themed games available for the Spectrum, as well as Action Biker. ‘Motorbike’ referred to the motorbike. ‘Madness’ referred to the player.

The Evel Knievel Stunt Cycle arguably isn’t forgotten at all but this list wouldn’t feel complete without it. Wind him up and off he races, straight up the nearest ramp. And then crashes. Every time. Just like the real Evel. There are loads of 1970s TV ads for the toy on YouTube but we thought this ‘Insane Jesus jump’ somehow better captured the essence of the man himself. It could be Caesar's Palace.

A bit like the Evel Kneivel Stunt Cycle except you had to repeatedly press the foot pedal (because that’s relevant to motorcycling) instead of winding it up. And it didn’t do jumps. And it only crashed if you fired it straight into a wall. Someone should have followed the instructions on the box of the 1977 Barry Sheene's Steponit and stepped on it. Preferably an elephant. There’s one on eBay right now for £99. Alternatively, banging your head against a wall is free.