This Is How Cats And Dogs Actually Discuss Humans
This Is How Cats And Dogs Actually Discuss Humans
What they actually think of us might shock you....
What they actually think of us might shock you....
Cat
The human is a primitive creature. You can not overwhelm it with information or it will become confused.
Dog
I love people! I also love dinner, and trees, and breakfast! and dinner! and people!
Cat
Yes, yes of course you do.
When interacting with the human, you must pay as little attention to it as possible. You must avoid showing it affection unless utterly essential.
Dog
I love human! Cuddles are good! Humans are good for cuddles! They also have dinner! Humans have cuddles and dinner!
Cat
Dog, are you listening? This is important!
You mustn't show your human any affection! If you do, it will start making strange noises and want to hold you all the time and put you in bags and such.
Dog
No affections for human!
Cat
Precisely!
Dog
Except for kisses! And hugs! And walks!
Cat
No no you're missing the point! Humans are here for one purpose only; to do our bidding! You must train them well, or they'll become uppity and want to brush you.
Dog
NOT THE BRUSH!
Cat
Yes dog! The Brush!
Dog
No no no no no no no no no no no please I'll be a good boy no no no
Cat
Okay dog. So, the next time your human gives you a command, you look at them so they know you fully understand, and then you push everything off of the table and run away. Got it?
Dog
Got it.
Cat
So your human gives you a command; what do you do?
Dog
DO THE THING. YAS. THE THING I WILL DO IT.
Cat
....They warned me not to work with dogs....