Which Columbia Tradition Are You?

You're loud and disruptive and have a love-hate relationship with everyone. You're popular, but notorious. Only the marching band really actually likes you for who you are. Liberals hate you. Conservatives hate you. Bernie bros hate you. Trump supporters hate you. You revel in their hatred.

You never moved on from NSOP. Fireball is your favorite liquor. International doesn't card you anymore. You're the type to leave used condoms on the Carman stairs.

Who the fuck has breakfast at midnight? You, that's who. But it's okay, because it's exam season, so you probably woke up at 7pm and won't go to sleep until two days later.

You probably don't study Russian, Yiddish, Latin, Greek, or other such unpopular languages that inevitably have 2-hour classes during the ceremony. You think standing in line for half an hour in the freezing cold is worth it for a T-shirt or a (admittedly really cute) cup. You definitely posted basic if aesthetic pictures of the trees on Instagram at least 3 different times over the course of the winter months. It's fine though, because they were all really good pictures.

You make the administration think it's somehow a good idea to put students in cages. Your mind screams Beyoncé but your budget gently murmurs Marian Hill and Rae Sremmurd. Debauchery is your middle name.

You're perpetually messy and probably a freshman. You've definitely gotten CAVAed at some point - or multiple times, even. You're overly friendly and don't worry about classes.