What Does Your Birth Date Say About How You Will Die?

We have seen the future and it isn't pretty...

Zach Kemper
Created by Zach Kemper
On Jun 17, 2015

First off, are you male or female?

What month were you born in?

Were you born in the day or at night?

What decade were you born in?

On what day of the month were you born?

What is your star sign?

Sucked into an escalator

Sucked into an escalator

It started as an innocent day at the mall. All you wanted was a new top to go with a pair of pants that had been languishing in the back of your closet for months. "I'll just pop into the Gap," you said. Before you knew it, you were on the escalator ride from hell. Your shoelaces got caught in the gears, you struggled but couldn't pull them loose. Your last thoughts before the world went dark were, "I could have worn those pants with the black tank I got last season!"

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Vending machine collapse

Vending machine collapse

You hadn't indulged in the bag of salty fried goodness that is chips in weeks. Trying to watch your figure and eat healthier was agreeing with you, but you decided it was time to spoil yourself. You walked down the hall where the fluorescent lights illuminated your treat. But the coil got stuck and wouldn't release your snack! You dug in your pockets in vain, that was your last bit of small change. Exasperated and flowing with adrenaline from your last workout, you began to shake the machine until it landed with a thud on your head.

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During sex

During sex

Your wedding anniversary was quickly approaching and you knew you wanted it to be special. You made reservations at the restaurant where you had your first date, and you bought something brand new and extra tight to wear. The evening was a blast, complete with a live serenade, a new diamond necklace, and the best chocolate mousse you had ever eaten. Hotel reservations awaited you at the end of the night, and you and your partner could hardly wait to get between the sheets. It was a hot and steamy night, to be sure. That is, until it ended...

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Hit by a falling piano

Hit by a falling piano

It was early in the morning and already nothing was going as planned. You fought with your partner this morning, your boss was on your back about a project that just wasn't coming together, and you had a huge headache that didn't seem to be going anywhere. "Coffee," you thought to yourself, and decided to walk to the cart down the street for some of that liquid energy. Deeply absorbed in the stream of texts coming to you from a very angry partner, you didn't even notice the baby grand falling towards you at warp speed.

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Bungee jumping accident

Bungee jumping accident

You needed to shake things up. Life had become a monotonous thread of long work days and frozen dinners. You had always wanted to go bungee jumping, and you decided it was time to cross this off your bucket list. You checked online for the most reliable and recommended bungee company and reserved a time to take the plunge. It was a perfect day for a jump, and you barely felt a flutter in your stomach as you were strapped in. And then you jumped...and the rest - as they say - is history.

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These are 10 of the World CRAZIEST Ice Cream Flavors
Created by Tal Garner
On Nov 18, 2021